i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
wow bdsm is so cute
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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