YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize