She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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