I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
