Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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