Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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