I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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