the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
