I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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