Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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