We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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