Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
