the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
