talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
