Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
