this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
