i think i have herpe
just one?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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