I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
