Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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