My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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