Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
