Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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