my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
