just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
