***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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