probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
