do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize