Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
