I just saw a hot homeless man
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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