Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
