we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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