Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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