He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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