that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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