I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
