at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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