I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
