i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
