my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
