i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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