her vagine was all disorganized.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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