What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
