my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
