you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
4 words: hood of his car
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
