I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i have two assholes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
