when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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