your parents love me but you hate me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
