Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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