My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
