everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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