Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize