You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
