Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
