i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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