3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize