Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
