And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
