that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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