Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
