he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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