I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
