Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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