after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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