Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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