So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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