I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
