respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
