She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
