awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
